Having a Marriage Like No One Else-Tip 1

Photo taken by our wedding photographer, Casual Images

Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of having a great marriage. Like Dave Ramsey says about money, I've dreamed of having a marriage "like no one else."

In my dreams...

My husband and I would never fight.

He would always know how I'm feeling (without me having to tell him, of course).

He would know when I need a hug or when I need a listening ear.

He would never say the wrong thing (and of course, neither would I.)

The romance would always stay alive. 

The list could go on and on. You've probably wished for some similar things.

The problem with these dreams, though, is that they're unrealistic.  Great marriages don't just happen, regardless of who you marry. Great marriages take work.

For the next few weeks, I'm going to focus on marriage on my blog. I'll still post my favorite faith and family posts on Fridays and maybe some other posts in between, but you can expect to read about marriage here at least once a week until Valentine's Day.

I can by no means claim to be a marriage expert. Not even close. But I have learned a few things over the years, and I'm excited to share these things with you.

The first thing I've learned about marriage that has really helped me (when I choose to follow my own advice, of course) is this: 

Adjust your expectations.

Or better yet, just get rid of them altogether.

If you're expecting your husband to help with the housecleaning, you might not be very appreciative when he does. It was something you expected him to do, after all. It wasn't like he did anything out of the ordinary.

But...on the other hand, if you have no expectations and your husband does something helpful, you'll be much more appreciative.

If you're constantly expecting things from your spouse, you might not even recognize it when he does something nice for you. And you and I both know what will happen then, right? He'll either stop doing nice things or become angry.

Expectations have always been a struggle for me, but I'm learning (and I think improving).

If your husband has nothing to measure up to, he'll reach much higher than if he can never measure up.

I'm curious. What expectations have you struggled with in your marriage? Leave a comment here so we can get a discussion going.