When my husband and I first got married, there was one thing we said we would always do.
Go on regular dates.
I'm learning, though (now that we have kids and life keeps getting faster and faster), that the word "regular" wasn't specific enough. What we should have said is this: We will go on a date at least once a week. Or... we will go on a date at least once a month.
Unfortunately, our "regular" dates have now become once every 3-4 months, depending on babysitting and our schedules.
I say all this so that you know...I need this tip just as much as anyone else.
Dating your spouse isn't easy. At least not once you have kids. It'll take some creativity and planning. It'll cost a little bit of money. It might even feel a little bit awkward if you're not used to spending time alone with your spouse.
One thing my husband and I like to do on all of our dates is ask these questions to each other. (There are only two, so it's easy to remember.)
1. What have I been doing that you appreciate?
2. What is one thing I could do to help you more?
Unfortunately, going on dates isn't as easy as it used to be before kids. Let's be honest. Sometimes, it feels like more work than it's worth. My husband and I have been brainstorming ways to make it happen in our marriage, and I'm excited to share these with you today:
How to Make Date Nights Happen:
1. Hire a regular babysitter. Ask someone if they would be willing to watch your children once a week or once a month (whenever you plan to go on dates). This will remove the "who are we going to have watch the kids?" dilemma.
2. Budget for date nights. This, of course, will remove the "we don't have the money" excuse.
3. Consider swapping date nights with another couple. You watch their children one week, then they watch yours the next. If money is tight, this is a great way to get free babysitting!
4. Put it on the calendar. Because we all know, if it's not on the calendar, it won't happen.
5. Take turns planning the activities. This takes the pressure off of one person.
Let's talk. What have you found helpful when trying to date your spouse?
To start at the beginning of this blog series and read Tip 1, go here.